The 10 Best Things about being a Guitarist
What are the 10 best things about being a guitarist – we’d love to hear your judgment!
10. CAPOS.............. Not cheating. Honest.
Not cheating, honest.
Only know 3 chords? Buy a capo and you now know loads! The likes of Paul Simon, The Beatles, Oasis and James Taylor would’ve been lost without them.
9. Effects Pedals ................You can never have enough.
Whatever size, colour, function or shape, every guitarist should start amassing a ridiculous arsenal of effects pedals. Like a kennel of kindly canines, they yap for your attentions, making it hard to choose which one deserves a precious 9V battery, which one to Velcro to the floor and stomp on.
Remember, a pedal is for a life, not just for Christmas.
8. The Bedroom Mirror............ Does my bum look big in this?
We wear our guitars every bit as much as we play them, so it’s important to consider how they look! Clearly little people should steer clear of 335’s, and the same might apply to a bigg’un and a Musicman Silhouette. Then there’s the whole world of colour to consider… all of which is impossible without a trustworthy length of reflective glass in order to pose in front of.
Oh yeah, and you can mime to AC/DC – Back in Black.
7. Guitar Cases............... Protection for your menace racquet.
Old, new, battered, borrowed, but rarely blue, your guitar case or gig bag is your guitar’s own personal bodyguard. A hard case must display the obligatory Musician’s Union ‘Keep Music Live’ sticker, plus at least one Gibson or Fender decal, depending on which way you swing. Customisation after that is essential. Airline stickers are only allowed if there’s a suitable Rock n’ Roll story attached.
6. Boiling your Strings............ Nobody does it, we promise.
Some old-school musos will sometimes try and wind you up by telling you that boiling your old strings is a great way to avoid shelling out for a new set. To be fair, old jazz bassists – apparently – used to practise this vile habit when it was relatively hard to obtain a new set, and they were expensive. But these days when you can buy a new set for as little as £4.99 and risking the wrath of the Boss by boiling your strings in her finest Le Crueset hardly seems worth the effort.
Neither nutritious meal, nor smart sonic strategy.
5. Your first decent guitar........ You begged for it.
You’ve been staring at it for two months; thumbed pages of a catalogue lay strewn around, in the hope that somebody, anybody, might just notice and feel unusually benevolent. If you’re of a certain age, that dream may come true. Those of a certain other age, however, will probably have to beg, borrow, scrimp, beg and borrow and save to get the necessary readies for the inevitable purchase. However you run home as if holding your baby for its life - and that first moment when you open the case and it’s actually yours, is one that’ll go down alongside your first kiss, your first born, and your first note-perfect solo to a packed audience.
4. Guitar Tuners............. Out of Tune is out of Work!!
What’s the most common thing for guitarists to get wrong? No, not becoming a drummer but their tuning. The one thing guaranteed to make you sound bad is dodgy tuning, so get a tuner – there so simple to use, and you’ll only ever have to buy one.
3. Small Shield-shaped pieces of plastic.... All hail the humble plectrum – pick, play, maybe even pull.
Walk up to the pretty barmaid, pull out your change and she spies a couple of picks – “You’re a guitarist then?” is the instant response as you slide safely to first base. They’re also quite good for playing the guitar too.
2. C, A minor, F and G....... Surely the chords God would choose.
The magic formula that instantly allows you to play a whole host of pop ditties. Guitarists of limited ability have forged highly successful careers after learning to shoehorn an impressive repertoire of these chords, and signing louder over the bits that don’t quite fit. Try it, anything from Bohemian Rhapsody, to Sam Cooke’s Wonderful World.
And if you learn to use a capo – well, the sky’s the limit.
1. Guitars..... Stands to reason really.
Admit it, how many of us have stared longingly at the amalgam of wood, steel and plastic, and felt something that goes far beyond any sort of normal desire, or craving.
Sometimes you’ll just stand for minutes on end, gazing at the contours on a vintage Strat; marvelling at the sheer simplicity of a Tele, or wondering just how deep the flamed maple of that Private Stock PRS can go. This isn’t an object, this is an obsession.
Then when you’ve exhausted the visuals, take it in your hands, feel it, hold it. What other musical instrument is so perfectly conceived for the human body. What other musical instrument evokes so much rock n’ roll history, and indeed, its entire future.
Now play it, even just a simple E major chord chimes, rings and fills up your senses better than the smell of fried bacon, following a night of opprobrious inhibition. But which one to play? The Strat, the Les Paul? Better take them all, just in case.
Untold joy, compulsion, awe;
Ahh, guitars, we love you!!
Ellie x
